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saragurl49085
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Name: Sara
Metro:
Birthday: 6/25/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: I love to play soccer, go to the movies, hang out with my awesome friends and section, babysitt, and play with my 3 nieces and 2 nephews.
Expertise: I have been a nanny for 4 years now. I babysitt Noah-9, Reece-7, and Mackenzie-3. I am going to be a preschool teacher when i graduate from Cornerstone University. YEAH!!!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/27/2005
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| Okay, well its almost the day that i move into the Well of Grace home. This Sunday night and i must admit that im becomming more and more terrified as the days get closer. Today started off pretty well since i had the day off work, but unfortunately it ended up in cutting, many tears, anger, frustrations, and lots of fear. My parents bought my niece a pair of $70 shoes because she didnt like the ones she had. So that made me Really mad because when i was 10, they would have Never done that for me, so shes been constantly getting pretty much everything that she wants which really makes me angry. Anyways. I only have 2 more days of work until im done. After work tomorrow im going to get my best friend Iesha so that we can spend some good time together before i go to the Well house, because then its 30 days with no contact, so i probably wont be able to be on here and update or anything, so sorry in advance about that, but just leave me some comments that will brighten my day when i Can read this again. I found out today that i am going to be the only one moving in on Sunday, so that whole first week it will just be me and the staff and then the next week, another girl is moving in, so then the newness will start again. I am so so scared to leave Mary Beths. After the change of moving from my parents house to her house and having to deal with all those fears, i have to leave someone that i Finally feel comfortable with who i know loves me and start all over again with trusting all these new people and sleeping in a house with someone i dont know and just being social. I just really hope and pray that i can do this and just look to the positives because its really hard when all i see is the fear thats binding my every positive thought. So if you can and if you think about it, please please please just say a quick prayer for me on Sunday night. I already told my counselor that i will need to take extra Xanex the first couple nights or else i know i wont be able to sleep worth a darn, so yeah. Thanks for reading and praying and caring. It sure means a lot to me. Love, Hugs and Prayers to you ALL......Sara | | |
| Okay, well im going to have to admit that im not doing too well. There is so so much going on right now in my life. The Well of Grace house will be opening on the 5th and thats when im moving in. I gave my work my 2 weeks notice and that was Really hard. I dont want to leave my work, i love it there. Im not so sure that im ready for this Huge move and for really working hard with my counselor on things from my past. I dont think im ready for all this newness that i will be facing in the next week and a half. Family stuff hasnt been too great either. My sister isnt doing good emotionally. She still having tests run on her brain. Its so hard for me to not go visit her and my niece and nephew when im so used to seeing them practically every other day. However, when i do go home and visit them, its absolutely crazy and then i come home wishing that i NEVER went there. Its like Bi-Polar madness. With my niece and my mom yelling and screaming and then my sister and then my dad gets in on it all and its so so overwhelming and brings back so many memories of when i was little and even now when my mom gets too depressed and then just goes off the deep end and takes it all out on me. So ummn, yeah. Theres just tons of stuff going on with well of grace, my family, my counselor, and the lady im living with. Dont really know how im going to do this next week before i move into the well house. I can already feel me going downwards because im so dang scared. Okay, well sorry this was all negative, i just really couldnt keep it inside anymore. However, on a better note, i havent cut in about a month. The temptation is so so there, especially now, but i havent, and since i cant do it in the well house, i might as well get used to not doing it here and just finding another way, however the last time i did that, i ended up almost OD-ing on my meds, but thats a whole nother story. Thanks for listening if you did. Just pray that this new point in my life will turn around for the better really soon, because right now im just not so sure. Hugs and Love, Sara | | |
| Okay, so i must admit that i LOVE Good-Will. Today I went in there just to look around and when i looked at the movies, i saw a 6-cassette thing from Joyce Meyer for only 2 bucks, then i look to see if theres any more and i find 20 all together. There so AMAZING and i know that shes like the top christian speaker today, so i was ecstatic. I bought all 20 costing me 40 bucks and when i looked on her website to see how much they cost separate, there 22.00 for a pack of 6 cassettes. Man i sure got a steel. Well, thats all for today, now i have to call my beloved friend Iesha to tell her how much i love her and miss her. Love and Hugs to EVERYONE...Sara | | |
| Okay, well a loved friend wants me to update more, so here it goes. As far as my sister is concerned, everything is pretty much up in the air still. She has had MRI's, EEG's, EKG's etc. on her brain and the last thing she had was where she had to have 27 wires glued to her scalp and monitored 24 hours to see her brain activity and if there was any seizures. She hasnt gotten the results back yet, but should next week. My grandma just had surgery as well for cancer on her face. She had it done on her nose and her chin and they had to go back 3 times on her nose and she wasnt even drugged. Well, i too had a very close call to going to the hospital again. The doctor that im staying with said that she was about to send me to the hospital because i hadnt gone to the bathroom in 3 weeks and that they were going to need to put a tube down my throat and flush my entire system out. I had to drink milk of magnesia for almost 2 weeks and take caltrate. NASTY, so now im being watched closely for that stuff. My sister, niece, and nephew have all moved into my parents house until further notice and actually they are all in MY room, including my nieces new puppy. She just got her and shes a pure-bread husky, however, shes tearing up everything in my room. Add that to my sister and niece getting pretty much everything they want/need right now leaves me feeling like i dont matter at all to them. Probably is true, but ya know. Well of grace will be opening up the first week in November. Very SCARY/EXCITING. Girls will be moving in on the 4th and everything begins on the 5th. I will be putting in my 2 weeks notice next week, so thats sad as well. As far as how im doing, im not totally sure besides feeling walked all over by my sister. I feel like i need to be doing "OKAY" becuase i was doing better earlier this month and for some reason, im feeling like im right back at square one. Then it will all just start all over again when i move into the well of grace home, so who knows how ill be doing by the beginning of november. I guess thats all for now. I pray for All of you and hope that your at least still trying to get through your rough days. I know they come and go so dang often, but hey...at least were TRYING. Many Many Love and Hugs to EVERYONE and i truly whole-heartedly mean EVERYONE....Always and Forever, Sara | | |
| Okay, well i think that anyone that wants to know probably is wondering how im doing or how my life is or whatever. Well, im not going to say about me right now, because my sister is much more important right now. Tomorrow my sister, my mom, dad, and myself are going to the hospital to finally get her brain test results. ever since about a month ago, my sister hasnt been functioing at all. She can't walk, write, has trouble talking, and she has gone to the bathroom without even knowing she has to go. So after 15 brain scans, MRI's, and Head CT's, tomorrow morning we are supposed to get the results of some of her tests. The scarriest thing is the fact that her doctor requested that my parents and i come with her to find out the results, so were thinking that its not very good. They have said that she might have MS or have had a stroke. She can only work 1 day a week and can barely take care of her 2 year old and 10 year old. So if you think about it tomorrow morning at 8:20, we will be in the hospital getting the results and finding out what is to come next. Please Please Please just pray for her and my family, because i've taken her to All her tests and this is the biggy for all of us. Thanks so much in advance. Just a little update about me, i am still living in Berrien Springs with Mary Beth, a lady from Well of Grace. The Well is supposed to be opening in october, i did get accepted into the program, so thats very good. Now i just have to pray that i dont go backwards again, like i have been. I also had blood tests and other stuff done and found out that im severely anemic, dehydrated, have extremely low blood pressure, and am lactose and tolerant. So yeah, just more stuff for me to try and handle and more meds to add to my already high pile. Well, thats all for tonight. Much Love, Hugs and Prayers to you ALL. Miss you Cornerstone Girlies and Maria and Sara and Iesha. Many X and O's Always, Sara | | |
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